A Love That Will Not Alter
by catc20NYNY
Summary: Nathan and Haley vowed forever, but after a cruel twist of fate the only way for Haley to keep that promise is to say goodbye to the only other boy she’s ever loved.


**Author's Note**: Hey y'all, this was a challengeI did recently for OTHwriters911and I thought I'd post it here to share. It's Naley, ofcourse, but has heavy laley friendship which you'll understand what I mean when you read it. Thanks as always to my Southern twin Mags.

Disclaimer: I own no rights to Haley James Scott, Nathan Scott or Lucas Scott.

"**A Love The Will Not Alter"**

"Daddy, is this it?" A beautiful, dark-blonde four-year-old little girl pointed hopefully at an elegant blue-gray granite headstone.

Lucas smiled warmly, "Yes, it is sweetheart."

Then, as he had done a million time before, he sat down on the marble bench that his father has specifically donated nearly ten years ago, and watched as his daughter began talking adamantly to the gravestone and arranging the bundle of purple flowers they had brought.

As she continued to ramble, his heart swelled, realizing how much she reminded him of _her_. Everything about his daughter's personality fit Haley to a tee. He would sit sometimes and watch her, and instead of seeing the little girl before him, she would take the shape of the first girl who had ever touched his heart. His mother had told him that it was because she was a namesake child and that he, along with her and Dan, had been telling his little girl stories of Haley since birth. It was only natural she would become such a vivid reminder of the girl he loved so dearly to this day.

Slowly, he took out the faded purple envelope from his jacket pocket and ran his hand over her elegant script. This was his tradition; every few months he'd come back to Tree Hill and sit in this spot and reread her last words to him. It made him feel as if he were right there in her last moments, and for that brief moment in time, they were together again.

With a deep shaky breath he began…

_Dear Lucas,_

_You may be wondering why I chose you and not anyone else to write this to, but in your heart you know why. Besides me, you were the only person he truly let in and loved. The three of us were a family, and you are the only one I feel that I need forgiveness from for what I am about to do. I know you are confused and angry, but I need you to open your heart to my words, please. _

_Remember the day we first met? We were six years old and you found me crying underneath the basket at the Rivercourt saying I had lost my way. You held my hand, leading me back home and I felt so safe. I never told you this, but when I looked into those bright blue eyes of yours, I knew, in my heart, I'd spend the rest of my life with you. Funny, how at six years old I knew my destiny. Because here I am at eighteen, and you're still by my side even at the very end. _

_Over the last six months you have tried to be my everything, but no matter how hard you tried, it wasn't enough. You're just not him, no one is, and I believe even you knew it was a losing battle. _

_I just can't go on without him Luke, god help me, I've tried._

_They say time heals all wounds, but I see now that whoever has the gall to repeat that horrible cliché never lost the love of their life. I can't count the number of people that have said that to me since I lost Nathan six months ago. I want to scream that its not true, because they don't understand that no amount of time is long enough to get over your true love._

_I think Whitey is the only one that has a taste of my pain, but even he doesn't know the true depths of my despair. Four hundred and sixty eight days was all Nathan and I had together on this earth. Why did Whitey get so many more with his love, while Nathan was taken away far too quickly. He doesn't know how blessed he was to have had all that time, because time with Nathan is all I crave._

_Nevertheless, I wouldn't trade those four hundred and sixty eight days of our love for anything. Nothing I could ever achieve in my life will ever compare to those precious days. I made the mistake of choosing to live a life away from Nathan before, and that's not a choice I'm willing to make again. The love I have with him is eternal and goes beyond this mortal world, which is why it's time for me leave. I've wasted enough time already. _

_I truly died with him that day, you know it and I know it. My body may have been still living on, but my heart, my soul, my entire being died with him in that watery grave._

_He needs me Lucas and I literally can't live without him. I've lived life before Nathan and after Nathan and death is the only way to survive the latter. I have to be with him…always and forever._

_Every day I go through the motions of the life everyone expects me to carry on, but it's all so hollow. I reach for him every morning and when I realize he's gone, the grief washes over me so strong I can't breath. _

_Whenever I do actually fall asleep, I dream of him waiting for me. He's always standing in the pouring rain calling me to him, and every time I'm being held back. Last night, for the first time, I finally saw what was holding me back ¾ it was you. _

_It's time to let go now, and I want you to know the only reason I've held on this long was because of my love for you. This has been my decision all along; it just took me six months to get up the courage to say goodbye to you. Don't be angry with me and never for a second think that you could have prevented this. Your love and friendship have meant everything to me, but Nathan is my future and his death doesn't change that. _

_You weren't there until the end, so that's why I have to tell you this hoping that maybe one day you can forgive me. Please don't repeat what I'm about to tell you to anyone else. I want everyone to remember Nathan shooting the winning shot in that last game or his smile at our wedding when he twirled me around the dance floor. I wanted to go to my grave with this memory, but I realize that you may never forgive me for what I have to do if you don't truly understand what happened that day. _

_I wish I could say it all went by in a blur, however; I wasn't that lucky. Every sight, every smell, and every sound is burned into my memory. I keep seeing that look of fear in his eyes as he told me he loved me before he jumped. It wasn't a fear for his own life; it was a fear that he'd never come back to me. I know he saw it my eyes too. It was almost as if we both knew and were powerless to stop it. _

_I remember running down to the shore waiting for him to come back to me. Even when the seconds melted together to create a hopeless amount of time, I never let my mind think he could be really gone. When they started dragging his lifeless body back to me, this ungodly scream broke the deafening silence and it took me awhile to figure out it was coming from me. _

_They didn't even try to save him, I kept yelling at them to do something and they kept saying it was too late. I ran to him and begged him to open his eyes, begged him to tell me he loved me, begged him to just breathe, but he never did. Luke, he was so...cold, a kind of cold that was inhuman. I laid on top of him, trying to warm him up, thinking if I did he'd come back to me, but everyone kept trying to pull me off of him. Didn't they understand he needed me? Why couldn't they see he was so cold? _

_It wasn't until I saw Dan standing in front of me with tears streaming down his face, that I knew I couldn't save Nathan. Then Dan, in his last act of love for his son and perhaps even me, pushed everyone away and left me only with my husband. I held his left hand in mine and stared at our wedding bands for what seemed like hours. I told him how much I loved him and kissed his soft lips for the very last time on this earth. Then they just took him away from me. I'm his wife and they took him from me. I collapsed in Dan's arms after that, and began to cry tears that would never cease; not even six months later._

_Funny thing is, Dan of all people has probably helped me the most, besides you. He comes over a lot, at the oddest times, and just sits with me as I cry. Sometimes he joins in and sometimes he just watches over me. I've come to realize that he can feel Nathan so strongly when he's with me and its because he doesn't have to hide his pain. Everyday he puts on a brave face for those around him, but with me there's no need. My grief is the one thing he can depend on and I think helps him cope with all his regrets over Nathan. It's ironic that in my grief ,he finally sees the love that Nathan and I share, but nevertheless he does. _

_Watch over him Luke, he loves you more than you know. _

_I only have a few requests of you and in them you will see that this was my plan all along. _

_I need to be buried next to Nathan, but I'm sure you already know this. If you go to funeral home where he was buried they will have the tombstone for both of us. I ordered it after his death. _

_I have to be in my wedding dress. It has to be that dress, Lucas, because that was the last thing he ever saw me in. Brooke can help you with this._

_I want there to be purple flowers everywhere._

_Never show this letter to anyone. On my nightstand there will be a short note telling everyone I love them and that I just couldn't go on. Knowing that only you will read my last words just seems a fitting way to honor our friendship._

_This is the most important: dance, cry, laugh, and make love all in the rain. Rain is so often looked upon as negative, when it truly is a beautiful thing. It can cleanse anything and reveal its beauty. Nathan and I could be in the middle of the biggest argument and then it would start to rain. We'd look at each other, smile, and then let the rain wash all the pettiness away and show us both the incredible gift we had in each other. So the next time it rains, think of me, smile and start to live your life again._

_Now, I'm sitting here trying to think of some poetic last words, but you were always the more literary of the two of us, so I think I'll steal a favorite quote of yours from "Of Mice And Men:"_

_"As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. Then gradually time awakened again and moved sluggishly on."_

_I can see a small smile on your face after your read that. You thought I never paid attention as you spouted quote after quote to me over the years, but I heard every word. I chose this quote because you and I have both had so many of those moments lately and I know in my death, I have added one more for you. Unfortunately, all those moments have been full of a grief so deep it's hard to think you'll ever find your way out. My only escape out is to choose a life with Nathan in eternity, but you can still find your way out on this earth. _

_Don't be afraid to love with your whole heart. You know whom you truly love, Lucas, and no matter what the circumstances don't wait a single second being without her. You'll live a life of regret it you don't follow your heart. _

_I want you to write everyday from now on too. You've spent so much time absorbing yourself in other's works of art and now it's time to create your own. You truly have a gift, even if you can't see it yet. _

_One more thing, when you have children tell them how much their Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan love them. My greatest sadness will be that you and I couldn't watch our children play together, but know I'm watching over yours. Build them a mini golf course, have weekly water balloon fights, and watch old games that you and Nathan played in together. Remember the happiness you had with us, and show it to them._

_Well, it's time now; I can feel it slowly calling me. The sun is about to rise and I know that just like clockwork you'll be coming over to check on me as soon as it finishes. Please don't worry about me…I'll be with Nathan and you know he'll always protect me, just as you have. _

_God, I'll miss you buddy, but I want you to know that when I drift away I'll see that same little blonde hair boy with the bright blue eyes, holding my hand and leading me home ¾ to Nathan. _

_I love you…till we meet again,_

_Hales_

Closing the letter, he thought back to that fateful morning. He awoke to find her letter on his door and he could still feel the fear that it triggered inside him before he even made a move to open it.

Then, minutes later, he found her and it was too late. She was lying on her side of the bed she had shared with Nathan with a peaceful smile gracing her angelic face. For a second he let himself believe she was asleep, dreaming of Nathan even, but when he stroked her cheek he felt it…_the cold_. The kind of cold that only death itself could create.

The rest was a blur. Brooke had found him that day crying with Haley in his arms, not wanting to let her go. He had lost so much in his life; he didn't know how he was expecting to now go on without her.

Three days later, though, he did everything she requested. It was perfection, just the way Hales wanted it. Brooke had made sure the wedding gown looked just as it had the first time Haley had worn it and Peyton had found every purple flower within a hundred miles. They never questioned his demands, in a way they probably knew that Haley had told him what she wanted, but that was his memory, one that they would never intrude on.

At her funeral, hundreds came to mourn her, tears were shed everywhere he looked, but when they laid her down next to his brother a stillness came over him he would never forget. She was home now, with Nathan, and that was where she truly belonged. He would still grieve for her and his brother for the rest of his life, but that was his own selfish burden he had to bear. In his heart they were in a better place where no pain could ever touch upon them again and their love would surround them for all eternity.

…

"Daddy? What does this say?" His daughter spoke up bringing him out of his memories.

He placed the envelope back in his pocket and stood before the headstone that bore his brother and his best friend's names.

Taking her hand, he read over the familiar words. "Nathan Royal Scott and Haley James-Scott: A love that will not alter. Always and forever."

She giggled beside him. "Aunt Hawey and Uncle Naffan luvvvvve each other. Did they kiss Daddy?" She crinkled her nose up at him.

"More than I care to remember," he laughed thinking of the many times he caught them kissing and sometimes doing more. "We better get going sweetie, we have to pick up mommy and your baby brother."

She frowned, crossing her arms. "Why? Nate cries all the time…he's no fun."

Lucas kneeled down just enough to be eye level with her. "Haley Karen Scott, wipe that pout off your face or no playing at the Rivercourt with Grandpa Dan."

She jutted out her bottom lip for just a second longer, then smiled, and he could once again see traces of his Haley. She ran to him excitedly and jumped into his arms, just as her aunt had many times before. Lucas smiled as he picked her up in his arms just as a light rain began to fall around them.

Haley squealed with delight. "Daddy it's raining! Can I dance with you and mommy in it?"

Lucas kissed her forehead. "Don't you always. Now let's hurry home because I bet mommy's already dancing without us."

As his daughter blew kisses goodbye to her aunt and uncle he paused to look back towards the two people he missed every day of his life.

"Take care of each other," he whispered before walking away from the past and back into his life.

* * *

Cath


End file.
